Marriage Stinks....But Only Because of Sam's Farts!

             I don't have any pictures to share with this blog, since we have been in Awesome Altus for all of June, there really hasn't been anything epic enough to capture in the form of a picture. Thus, this will mostly just be a blog of words, I will try to keep things short and sweet, but much like my stories I tend to ramble and when I get on a role its hard to stop me. Much like some of my statuses on Facebook this past week/weekend, as my lovely friend Stephanie's fiance put it, "A blog post via Facebook status," (once Facebook stopped limiting the characters for each status, well the world was doomed to Amanda statuses), which also resemble my notoriously long voice mails and text messages. You will never receive a one word or one letter text from this girl....unless I am angry. Already I have digressed.

            Well you will all be happy to know that your tax dollars have not been wasted this month, Sam has been working quite a bit. His class finally moved up to top priority this month, since they are suppose to finish their simulators by June 30th. The civilians realized their prior scheduling didn't keep them on track so they had to play catch up. Basically, Sam has had a SIM every Saturday in the month of June. Aside from that, last week he had a SIM everyday except for Friday. It made for a long week for him and for me. His SIMS were from 2 to 6pm so he was gone from 1 to 7pm, which my days pass much slower when I don't get to spend them with him. Plus, it was rainy a few days last week too, which always seems to make a day last longer, but I still brought Sam a snack everyday at 4pm, and then had dinner ready for him when he got home around 7. However, since he was gone in the afternoon I felt like we didn't get much time together, especially because in the mornings he would have class, I missed him....ahhh newly weds, missing each other when you go a whole afternoon without seeing each other for four days in a row! This past Saturday Sam was suppose to have a simulator, that I was going to be able to sit in on for the last two hours. These are full motion SIMs, they even push out from the steps you use to get into them, and the entire SIM moves, so it would've felt like we were in the real plane. I was pretty excited to be able to see Sam in action as well as spend sometime in the simulator, but unfortunately there was a computer issue and they all went down, but it gave Sam a free afternoon, FINALLY! I love spending time with my husband, he is my best friend, we always have a blast together.


          On Saturday, once Sam had lunch, we headed to the pool with Sam's SIM partner and his wife, Kedem and Lauren. Since it was such a beautiful Saturday the pool attracted a lot of people! Our group of four quickly multiplied into a group of ten plus a baby. There are some pretty sweet slides at this pool which we take full advantage of during the fifteen minutes of adult swim that occurs every forty five minutes. We also played an intense game of monkey in the middle. Unfortunately, though we were wearing sunscreen, Sam's back burned and my face got burnt. When we were outside of the pool there was a natural segregation of all the guys sitting in a circle and the four wives laying out on lounge chairs. The boys were discussing pilot terms, while us ladies discuss how much we don't understand their pilot lingo, but they don't understand differentiated instruction or parts of the muscle, which comes from me being a teacher and Lauren being a personal trainer. We also talk about practical things, like where we are going to live at our next base (on base, off base, etc). Saturday night we had a BBQ with the people from the pool plus a few other guys who joined us. It ended up be a cloudy, cool evening and a perfect night for a BBQ. We had a blast! Getting to know each other more, laughing (those boys with leave you in stitches), and enjoying each others company. As the night drew to an end it started to hit me that each one of us are headed in different directions. Some people are leaving Awesome Altus as early as this Wednesday, others are leaving in two weeks, others midway through July, and then us at the end of July. People are going to California, Washington, Hawaii, England, Colorado, and South Carolina. Literally, all over the world. I had a small reality check of military life. I knew we would make new friends and have to leave them, but it seems like as soon as you start getting comfortable, start making stronger friendships, its time to uproot your lives and leave these partially nurtured friendships. However, there is also a pretty strong bond that forms pretty quickly between military friends, though you may have to leave them earlier than your ready to there will always be that connection you made of experiencing similar things. Plus, you can always look them up when you travel and maybe score a free place to stay for a night if you need it and/or good people to catch a meal with later on in life. I have a feeling that by then end of our military career we will have many friends all over the world that will always hold a special place in our hearts. Our future home in England is open to anyone, military or not, who is looking for a place to crash while traveling Europe!


            Sam and I passed our five month mark this passed week. It is crazy how quickly five months have passed since we said "I DO" or "YES" (since that's what Sam said because he didn't know it was the part where he was suppose to say "I DO", we didn't rehearse it he claims). It has truly been the most amazing five months of my life. Making the adjustment into the role of being a wife has been a humbling and fun experience. There have also been some strange and yucky moments as I adjust to living with a boy, man they are just different than living with girls! I will start with the serious part of what I have learned in the past five months then take you through the more humorous part of newly wed life. Learning to be a Godly woman is something I have striven for, struggled with, and pursued my whole life. Being a Godly wife is something I have heard about but now it feels more real to me, even after just five months of marriage. Most of us have probably heard Ephesians 5:22, either at weddings, in church, or even maybe some movies (that might be a stretch) aside from the famous 1 Corinthians 13 (love is patient, love is kind, it is not envious, it does not boast, etc.) and Genesis 2 (A man leaves his father and mother and is joined with his wife and the two shall become one) Ephesians 5 is probably the next most popular scripture you hear at weddings. Ephesians 5: 22-24 states the following:
                                        

²² Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. ²³ For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. ²⁴ Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

            I have heard this verse multiple times, but yet the word "submit" never really made sense to me when I was single. I probably never will have full comprehension of this scripture, but I don't think any human will be able to fully comprehend God's word. Anyway, at first I saw the word submit as a literal term, but how do you practice submitting yourself to your husband in today's society? Things are way different then they were back when the New Testament was written. However, I have come to find submitting myself to Sam for me is serving him. We were made to serve God, which it says in verse 22 to submit to your husband as you do to the Lord. I serve the Lord by showing love to his people and serving others. Thus, I should serve my husband. Right now, that means making sure he is well fed, preparing him delicious dinners, cleaning the house, making sure the bed is made, the laundry is done and folded, so he can focus on his training. I love doing these things for Sam, but I am human and at times over the past five months I have gotten tired and frustrated. Tired of cooking, or felt under appreciated, or been frustrated that I have to make a trip to Walmart alone, or gotten irritated with my small kitchen. When I let myself get frustrated, it makes Sam feel bad like I don't enjoy being a house wife, and it puts a strain on the marriage, just as we should serve God with a joyful heart, I should do the same for my husband. I know I will continue to grow and improve on submitting myself, but I also will stumble and fall along the way, just as I do in my relationship with God. Sam is always quick to forgive me and move on when I am less than pleasant to be around. The second part of Ephesians speaks to a husband:  Ephesians 5:25-30

²⁵ Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her ²⁶ to make her holy, cleansing^[a] her by the washing with water through the word, ²⁷ and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. ²⁸ In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. ²⁹ After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— ³⁰ for we are members of his body.      

            God began preparing Sam to be a husband long before we were married. He is a very loving husband. In these short five months Sam has already shown me Christ's love. There was never a moment, even when we were dating, that I didn't feel loved by Sam. He is very patient with me, though I know I can be difficult. He is not easily angered. Sam reflects Christ's love, just as Christ loved his church so Sam shows love for me. I know I have frustrated him before, but he doesn't keep any records of my wrongs, just as God forgives our sins and then forgets about them. I am very blessed to have such a loving husband. 

           Aside from our spiritual growth and the growth of our love (which I didn't know it was possible to love Sam more, but I do everyday) we have learned some other valuable lessons these past five months:

1. A clove of garlic is only one small part of the large white garlic. Sam saved me from cutting up five of those big bunches of garlic when a recipe called for 5 cloves of garlic, but I have since learned how to mince fresh garlic.

2. Sam has horrible farts, though I knew most conversations in a Holbrook get together turns to a poop conversation, I didn't realize how rank Sam's farts can be, one night I thought I had to evacuate the bed because he was farting on me in his sleep! (ewwww boys)

3.  It is very easy to confuse fabric softener with laundry detergent. 

4. Glass bowls, if slightly cracked, will explode in the microwave, much like wax paper smokes in the oven.

5. When a recipe tells you to warm the cookie sheets in the oven it does not mean leave them in there for fifteen minutes (Sam did that and they smoked a lot)

6. It doesn't take much to set off a smoke alarm, we now disable ours every time I cook on the stove. 

7. Locking yourself out of your house on base costs $25, after the second time you do it, but the first time is free.

8. Sam yelling from the bedroom "AMANDA!!!!!!!!!!" Yes Sam? "I've been abducted by aliens", in reference to a mysterious bump on his arm.

9. Standing for the National Anthem in your swim suit when your soaking wet is cool, because everyone stops what they are doing and gets quiet, but is also equally awkward.

10. "HELP" "HELP" I cant get my sports bra on! Sam saying, "Oh Amanda, I didn't think I would have to dress you until we were old and grey after many years of marriage." The next day..."Help!" HELP!" Me saying, "Oh Sam, I didn't think I would have to help you put your shirt on until we were old."

            Being newly weds is awesome! We have had a blast and made many lasting memories. I don't think we will ever get tired of the words "husband" and "wife" as we only refer to each other as husband or wife. Every night, before the goodnight kiss, its "goodnight wife"...."goodnight husband". I love it and I love being a wife to my amazing husband.

Thanks for Reading!!

-Amanda

The Key to a Healthy Happy Marriage

Well the Holbrook's survived marathon May! We ended the month by spending memorial day weekend in Springfield. Sam had five days off, which was awesome. We headed to our vacation home in Enid, OK the Thursday before Memorial day weekend. Sam's classes for that day got cancelled so we got to leave in the morning. It was so great to be in a real house, with a full size kitchen, where Sam and I could both cook at the same time and I could turn around with running into the fridge or hitting the counter and it has a REAL oven! Immediately upon arriving in Enid I took to the kitchen for a new experience, making bread. I recently read the book "Eat Clean" by Tosco Reno and she said if your ever going to eat bread then eat Ezekiel bread, which is a pure and healthy bread. The story of Ezekiel bread comes from the Old Testament: Ezekiel 4:9-11-

⁹ “Take wheat and barley, beans and lentils, millet and spelt; put them in a storage jar and use them to make bread for yourself. You are to eat it during the 390 days you lie on your side. ¹⁰ Weigh out twenty shekels^[a] of food to eat each day and eat it at set times. ¹¹ Also measure out a sixth of a hin^[b] of water and drink it at set times.

I used a recipe that didn't use beans, so my bread was not authentic Ezekiel bread, but it was fun to make and tasted pretty good too! I have grown a lot in my cooking skills since being married for five months. I have impressed myself with some of the things I have made, not only in a small kitchen with limited resources, but making things from scratch. I have even ground my own oat flour before. It has been so much fun learning new things in the kitchen and realizing that I can cook! Never in my wildest dreams would I have pictured myself making homemade bread, especially bread that his been around forever. 

My Ezekiel bread dough after kneading it for fifteen minutes

After a night in our house and big queen bed (we sleep in a double size bed in Altus) we headed to Springfield. On Friday we both had bachelor/bachelorette parties to attend for our friends Katie and Daniel. Sam headed out fishing and the girls painted pottery. It was a lot of fun and a great time to see our friends, especially since we couldn't make it to the wedding. I love hanging out with my friends and I always realize how much I have missed them when we are all together and I never want our time to end. Also, I painted a pretty sweet G in honor of Katie and Daniel Galbraith, which I plan to see properly displayed in their house next time we visit. 

Sam and I after the bachelor/bachelorette parties

My sister and brother-in-law came into town on Saturday so we spent most of the day with them on Saturday and had a delicious bbq. We hadn't seen them since the wedding, in January, other than on facetime, so it was a blast to hang out with them. Sunday morning we had brunch with my family, after church with Sam's family, and I convinced everyone to play Phase 10 before my sister and Ben hit the road. If you have never played Phase 10 well your missing out, it is a super awesome card game, but it can last FOREVER, which is why it took a lot of convincing to get people to play. Alas, the morning ended and we had to say goodbye to Shauna and Ben. We headed over to Sam's parents house, where we were staying, and had another bbq on Sunday night, which was delicious. We even played the game Recycle (see previous blog for explanation on how to play that game) which was a lot of fun, glad we could get Sam's family to play our newly discovered and awesome game. 

Bag I made for my sister

On Monday, memorial day, we lounged around in the morning and then  headed to the National Cemetery to walk around with Sam's parents. It was beautiful to see all the graves decorated and take a moment to remember all the men and women who sacrifice daily to serve our country. We headed to lunch with my mom and Sam's parents after we left the cemetery. I went to the pool with Becky, Sarah and Hazel on Monday afternoon, while Sam napped, and then we went and said goodbye to my mom on our way out of town. It was very hard to say goodbye to Hercules, he doesn't quite understand why I come visit and then leave and it hurts to say goodbye to my precious dog. 

We spend the night in Enid on Monday night. We worked out at the Vance gym on Tuesday morning, which is not as nice as the Altus gym, then headed to OKC for the day. I met up with my best friend, Stephanie, to do some bridal dress shopping while Sam went to the cowboy museum.  The best part of the day is that Steph found a gorgeous dress and we got Qdoba for dinner!!! 

OKC dress shopping = success

It took about four days for Sam and I to recover from marathon May. Sam Thurs-Wed off which was nice, but he had a simulation bright and early Saturday morning, which was not very fun. We had a pretty low key weekend, since Sam had a SIM we were unable to attend our California wedding this past weekend. We watched a movie Friday night and celebrated friends birthdays on Saturday night. Sunday we went to Mass and Service (working a two-a-day) then just hung around our little room watching Gossip Girl in the afternoon. The perfect way to rejuvenate from a month full of traveling, we were both ready to be in one place for awhile. We don't have any more plans to travel until the end of June for a wedding in Dallas, which by then we will probably welcome a break from Awesome Altus. 

Many people say that the first year of marriage is the hardest. Some people even go as far to say that the first five years are the hardest. However, I have not found that to be true. Yes, we have had to go through a lot of adjustments and changes in the five short months we have been married, but the changes have brought us closer together and strengthened our marriage. We even have "briefings", yes Sam uses a military word to describe our financial and life discussions. Today, we had a thirty minute financial briefing. I am not sure why the military must use briefing instead of meeting, but it sounds way better than discussion in terms of a marriage.

The pool on base has awesome slides. We spend a lot of free time here

 I would say the number one reason we have had such a successful time adjusting to change is because we have put Christ in the center of our marriage. As most of my readers know Sam and I come from different Christian upbringings. Sam was raised Catholic and I was raised Baptist. Sometimes the thing people neglect to see is that Catholic and Baptist/Protestant are NOT separate religions, they are just different traditions within the Christian faith. I have heard it said multiple times from people of the Catholic faith "Catholic is the only real Christian religion, the first, the only, the best." I have also heard, from a Protestant faith "Catholics aren't real Christians, they pray to Mary not God." Well, let me just say, those are both very naive statements and it frustrates me when I hear people say things like that. I have sat through Protestant services since I was born, and I have sat through many masses over the past four (almost five) years and let me just say, though the information is relayed differently, it is the same message. Before we were married, since we were living long distance, it was easier for Sam and I to do our own thing when it came to church on Sunday, then when we were together we would try to hit up mass and service in one weekend. That works for us for now, perhaps when we have children things will change, but for now we usually go to two services in one weekend, but the reason Christ is in the center of our marriage doesn't come from the church service we are in, though those do play a role in strengthening our relationship, but from our own personal Bible study. Sam joined me in reading through the Bible and that has brought us closer together and to Christ.

You absolutely, positively, CANNOT have a relationship with God with a closed Bible. That is how he communicates to us. We have church once a week to come together corporately in worship, which is a biblical principal, but in the week between Sunday's it is important to pray and read our Bible. Any person who goes to a Christian church knows what I am talking about. Well, when Sam and I started studying together things started making more sense to us. A somewhat taboo subject (since we were raised differently) when we were dating became intimate discussions and explorations of Jesus Christ as we try to understand scripture. Sam reads a lot of books, outside of the Bible, about religion and the church, so his knowledge, especially when we read the Old Testament is unbelievable. He has really made it easy for me to understand the Old Testament and the history of what was going on during that time. I have spent more time than Sam studying the Bible over the years and I taught Sunday school for four years, so I am more familiar with the stories in the actual Bible. It is a great balance of historical and biblical knowledge. You put the two together and we have a deeper meaning, understanding, and desire to know our God more and put him in the middle of our marriage.

It is so hard for me to fathom that the God of the universe, who sent his one and only son to die on the cross so that I can have eternity in heaven, wants to have a personal relationship with me. He wants to talk to me, know me and love me. So why is it that I find it hard to give him 15 minutes out of my day, I mean what is more important than spending time reading the Bible and praying to the creator of the universe? Why do I always make excuses? Well, it is human nature, human selfishness, but we know one day every knee will bow, every tongue confess that Jesus is Lord, we will have an eternity to do nothing but praise our Savior. We wont be married, we will be in new bodies, we will be in heaven doing nothing but praising the Lord. So why not start on earth? It has also been great sharing in reading the Bible daily with Sam because we hold each other accountable, sometimes we turn off the TV just to read our verses and we take turns praying together before we go to sleep. Sure, we can do more privately, separately, to grow in our personal relationship with God, but it has been beautiful to watch our marriage change as we grow together in Christ.

Sam and I also had a strong relationship before we got married, in fact nothing in our relationship, except that we got to actually be together, changed when we got married. If you have a rocky relationship before marriage you will have the same struggles and rocky relationship in marriage. Being married is not going to fix any problems, so maybe that is why people say the first year of marriage is tough, or maybe its just because a girl and guy living together is strange and thus causes problems. All I know is that I am very blessed to be married to my best friend and as long as we continue to put Christ first in our marriage I know we will continue to be content and have a healthy, strong, and happy marriage!

Thanks for reading, sorry for the length of the post, that has all been weighing on my heart for awhile and it feels great to share it with the cyber world.

Amanda